Boring!

Wow..What a lame day. Its 1pm and I am still in my pj's. I cant get myself to do anything! I need to shower and go to the gym..yeah, Iknow. Normally you go to the gym and then shower..whatever. I do what I want;0)

This past couple of weeks have been fun. Jessica and I hung out. she got to meet some of my friends and stay the night. My windsheild wipers wouldnt work and it was raining like crazy. So she had to stay with me poor thing. I had a lot of fun though!

Chris, Kyle, Matt, Shannon and I went to the Angel of Hope site this week to see if they put Ava's brick in..but it was locked up!! I was so upset. But then we got this grand idea to break in..so we did..actually we rolled under the gate. lol, I felt kind of funny doing that, but I really wanted to be there. I took some pictures of the Angel here in Santa Maria..this is what it looks like.

This week...I played basketball like 5 times, worked out at the gym with my favorite person Michelle,and went to Chris' birthday party. Fun fun fun! Goodtimes. Its better summed up with pictures ;0)

Oh yeah! Randy and chelsea Got married a couple of days ago. Jason was the best man. he did a great job! The wedding was beautiful and a lot of fun!

Well..I guess I will go shower now. Love you all.

So yeah..just wanted to share some photos with ya. enjoy.


My friend Danny doesnt even know Ryan is behind him,..this picture pretty much scares me and cracks me up at the same time.
My sister and My Daddy. I miss both of them!
Ryan and Ryan being Ryans. Ryan Newman just got dreads..I love them!
Chris and I at Hunters and Matt being a wierdo in the background

The chris Stanfill! This guy is gonna go far!

This is Carter. I just started my new nanny job at the start of this month. he is way way cute!
my sister sam and I being silly
My brother Matt and my sister steph on Christmas

anyway. there ya go!

Get out of my house!

Yesterday im sitting on the couch watching The Office..Amazing show...when I hear yelling at my door.."YOOOHOOOO IM HERE WITH A GOOD DEAL...HEEELLLOOOO!" UMMMM. Knocking would have done..Im just saying... So I answer the door and it a sales women trying to sell this cleaning supply stuff. She is talking like crazy. I cant even understand her. "this stuff if none toxic and can clean anything"....ok. so at this point im just gonna let her finish talking to get it over with. Im pretty sure that where I made the mistake. "blah blah blah blah blah blah blah" She proceeds to take the spray tube out of the cleaner AND LICKS THE WHOLE TUBE..OMG. I was so grossed out. But it gets worse. She put the cap back on and sprays my hand!!! YUCK! now I have spit and cleaner on my hand and she didnt even ask me! Then she comes in my house uninvited and starts cleaning things. My stove, my refrigerator, my floor, the door handle.. not letting me get a word in. I called Jason and he said no, not to buy it. so I told her no. She was sooooo MAD! she went storming out of my house mumbling like a crazy person..I think im to nice.

saved $35 at albertsons! just thought you should know.


So. Have you ever noticed how easy it is to give up on something? One day your totally pumped up about it and then the next day you could care less. Thats how I am about this whole diet thing. Im actually doing very well, but Im so afraid I will do the norm and give up on it in a couple of weeks. At least Im seeing results, so maybe that will help. Even if it takes me a whole year, I just need to stick with it. I have a gym buddy now! Well, actually two. I have noticed that just having them helps out a lot. Michelle and Kyle both got a membership at Golds with me. We have been having a lot of fun with this. So hopefully we can stick with it. In fact, Michelle and I are getting ready to go in just a little bit..one question..do you weigh more after you work out? I know that sounds dumb, but my clothes are always tighter after I work out..oh well..

anyway, there ya go. have a great day!

I totally saved 40 bucks at Albertsons.

IM SO COLD! Can you believe its supposed to get down to 19 degrees tonight! Thats crazy! How can it be so cold without any snow. thats just sad. My gas bill is going to be sooo high, oh well, I guess its better then freezing. I heard that it was 12 degrees at hume and pastor James already has a cold.. and that sucks! Im so glad im not there right now.

So my best friend Whitney had her baby about a week ago. Lucas was born with 80% of his body covered with a black birthmark. Its like a huge mole covering his body. Poor baby, They are testing him and should know by next week if it is cancer. They had to fly the baby from Alaska to Seattle. They think they will be there for another month or so. So please keep them in your prayers :0) thankyou!

SO! Yesterday a group of us went to see Dr. Phil again! It was sooo much fun. Except for the 2 hours of sleep I got the night before. we had to get up and leave by 4 am. blah. Do you know when the last time I saw 4 am was...because I dont. But It was all worth it. The show was on weddings gone bad or something like that. Pretty funny, let me tell you! Despite the cold weather and being squished in a car for 3 hours, It was awesome!

Oh YEAH! I joined weight watchers..lol for some reason every time I tell someone that I joined I start laughing..anyway. I've lost like 5 lbs since saturday. crazy! I just take a walk here in there, Drink lots of water, and eat whatever I want in my point range and Im good. So yeah, this is something I know I will stick with. I went to albertsons and got all kind of healthy food. So you know how you can save money when you use your albertsons card? I totally saved 40$!!! I was so excited. lol. Just thought you all should know.

So here is a picture of me right now just starting the diet. well..its not the greatest but its all I got..

Here is what I hope to look like when im done.

Thats right. Shakira.

So yeah. of course I wont be half naked like her, but you know. whatever.

Well, I hope that you have all been greatly amused by my blog..I just bored myself from writing it. so have fun!

2006

2006 has come and gone..here are some things I experienced in 2006..

This year I discovered Will and Grace....I know, crappy picture..but what a funny show...I kind of feel bad that it is my favorite show..should I feel bad? lol..oh well.

Tanyas car was in the middle of a war zone..lol. "someone" put a bunch of army men all over tanyas car one night when she was at my house. Let me tell you, that was soooo funny!!! major points for the person/people who did it!

In 2006 Mrs. Elder went to be with the Lord. We miss her so much but we know that she having a grand time in heaven..No more pain, no more sickness. How lucky she is to be in presence of the Lord. I wonder if she has met my baby girl yet.

In 2006 I got an awesome Job as a nanny to this beautiful girl! I had so much fun and I miss her. Im so glad I got to play a part in her growing. I love her!

OH MAN...Who could forget Dr. phil. In 2006 I got the chance to be in the audience at his show..what a blast!! I had such a good time. Dont forget you guys, the show is going to be on early this month. I will let you know when I find out the date!

Thats right. I decided to go dark this year..My poor hair..its going to fall out if I dont leave it alone!

As you all know, Last year Jason and I got the amazing news that we were going to have a baby. And we did. She is with the Lord now. we miss her so much, I cant wait to see Ava Nicole again. She truly was a blessing! even if we only had her for that short time.

Jason and I celebrated our first year of marriage in 2006! What an amazing husband. Its true, words really cant express how much I love him!

Oh yeah!! My baby sister went off and got married! ;0) She is now living in NC for a couple months. Then her and her husband Michael are off to NJ. We miss you Stephanie!!!

WEll...there ya go! Im sure many exciting things happened in 2006, but thats all I could remember. ;0) Hope you all enjoyed your year. And I hope 2007 is full of amazing times for you. love you all!

I will end on this note. Even though we have started a new year..Dont forget what you have been through and what you have learned...


Deuteronomy 4:9

9 Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.

swing life away

Well, Stephanie and her husband Are gone. They left for NC the other day. They are almost there. They had a big trip ahead of them.Can you believe they are driving there! The good thing is, the military makes them stop every 500 miles to rest at a hotel. So thats good. I miss both of them so much. I cant believe my little sister grew up so fast. Now she is married and has moved away. I dont think it really hit me until today that she is so far . It has made me so sad.. I know its just part of life, but we are going to miss out on so much. I just pray that the Lord will bring them to an amazing church where she can meet some awesome christians and make lots of friends. Im so afraid she is going to be lonely there. But Im sure God has awesome plans for her and her husband.Well, here are some pictures of us...just some memories.

Christmas tree, oh christmas tree

I'm happy to say that my Christmas tree has lasted the whole month of December!!! After seeing the reports on the news, I was almost positive it would go up in flames. In fact, I dreamed that I lost everything in a terrible house fire caused by the neglect of my Christmas tree. The amazing tree didn't even dry up. I'm thinking about keeping it up year round just to see how long Pamela will last. ;0) (highly unlikely).In case your wondering, that is what I named my tree. In some weird way it seemed to fit. Jason and I started a tradition last year of watching a Christmas Story and Spongebob Christmas on Christmas Eve..So much fun! I hope we stick with it.

Christmas turned out great.. I felt the same overwhelming love for Christ that I have been feeling this past month. Maybe a little more. I think I actually truly felt the whole meaning of Christmas this year. Of course I grew up knowing that it is was the Celebration of Christ birth,and I always say a little prayer. But this year was different. Maybe because I have had to depend on him so much this year.. Its sad that it took a tragedy to truly give myself to the Lord, But I guess it was all in his plan.

The only thing that bummed me out was the vibe at my grandmas house on Christmas Eve.I tried to cheer people up, but its hard when your heart is breaking at the same time. It has just been a hard year for a lot of us. Its hard to understand why Christmas brings out sadness when it is supposed to be a happy, joyful day. I have been doing fine, but when I woke up on Christmas I just felt an overwhelming sense of sadness for Ava. I suppose it is just a human emotion that wont really go away. and its OK if it doesn't. As long as the God is with us we are fine.

The one gift that really got to me this year is a beautiful necklace that my sister Stephanie got for me. Its two white gold hearts with diamonds in it. at first I thought "oh how beautiful. that's a very sweet gift (and expensive gift)." then I turned the necklace over and read what was engraved on the back...

"A mother holds her daughters heart forever"

And I cried. And the gift was no longer just beautiful and expensive. It is a beautiful reminder of blessing that was given to us, even for just a short time.

Well, I hope you all had a great Christmas. I know I did. I'm so glad to have spent it with family and friends! I hope the same for you! love you all!

PS..Sorry if I write about the baby to much. I suppose that's what a blog is for. writing about your thoughts..anyway, love you.

two years

So, it was brought to my attention that I have been on this blog thing for over 2 years!! CRAZY! I cant believe I have has this thing so long. Sorry If I have bored you all to death in these two years, I will try and make my writing a little more interesting...Starting tomorrow.

Anyway, I have so much to day today. Its bad. So instead of being the responsible adult that I should be, I just sat around with my mom watching soaps and eating cookies for breakfast. lol. Oh man. It was fun. I dont really get to spend quality time with her. haha. Its funny that quality time is watching soaps and being lazy. What has this world come to?

So, Im going to Target. gonna finish up some last minute shopping and then send off some Christmas cards. I h0pe its not to late for that.

So what are your plans for Christmas? I wanna know. Im going to my aunts house with the whole family to partake in a huge game of bunco..Im freakin excited. You have no idea. ;0)

love you all.

Its gonna be ok.

Today was weird... I have good days, weeks even...But then I have those random days when I am just a mess. Little things get to me. Seeing pregnant people really gets me.. Having friends call me up to tell me they are pregnant gets to me. Its not their fault, im not mad at them. It just hurts me for some reason. Im happy for them and wish them the best and want to be a part of their lives. I just can't handle it right now I guess. I guess I thought God would heal me overnight. I actually thought he did. But I suppose its all in him timing. Maybe People never heal from losing a baby. Who knows...I just know that God gives me peace and gets me through the day. He will never give me more then I can handle.. Today is today. Its almost over.. Tomorrow should be better.

A lot of people have asked me what my future will be like as far as having children. Dont be afraid to ask questions, I dont mind. Im ok talking about it. I will be able to have children. When I get pregnant I will have a surgery called a cerclage. Basically to close my cervix..(I wont go into detail..I know you guys out there get a little uncomfortable with this stuff.) Anway, I will have the surgery at 12 weeks. Then its bedrest. Basically my cervix isnt strong enough to hold the weight of a baby..so when Ava reached a certain weight, I pretty much went into labor. The cerclage will hold the baby in. But I cant get out of bed except to take a shower, go to the bathroom, eat...Its a gravity thing. The surgery works 90-95% of the time. So yeah, I can have children. I just have to be on bedrest for 6 months...so there ya go. ;0) We will be trying again in March or April. We just want to give Ava her time. Her due date was in March.....


love you all!
AShley

Dr. Phil

So JAZ!!! Here is my update on the Job interview..

It was DUMB!!! Instead of interviewing me for the position I applied for , they wanted me to work for the Santa Maria Times doing the phone lines..Taking all the calls from the angry people and calling people to make them pay their bills...and they would want me to work the weekends..and they only pay 7 $ and hour. Dumb..so I didnt take it. But I did just get a job as a nanny again. Starting in January. I figured That since I will be trying for another baby around march, I shouldnt get a professional job right now. I would just have to quit when I get pregnant..and the lady I will nanny for knows the situation. Oh yeah, and I would only have to work 3 days a week..for 11 hours though...ahhh. but its ok. the baby is 8 months old. HE is sooo cute! so we will see how that goes.

DR PHIL!!!! well, im leaving in a couple minutes to go to pasadena..then in the morning My sister, and friend Caitlin and I are going to Hollywood to see DR PHIL!!!!!! Im so excited. I cant believe we got tickets! Its gonna be a blast. I will post more later about how the show went.

Well, thats all for now. love you all!!!

Job anyone?

Well, I have a job interview at Santa Maria Times tomorrow..So im pretty exciting..I wish I could still be a nanny for Riley. But I would feel to bad for taking the new girls job. She is so sweet! And Its good for Riley to play with the new nannys baby..I Do miss her so much though. here is a picture of her incase you dont know how freakin cute she is.

cute huh?

I Do love that kid.

So lately things have been going well. Jason and I are getting by. Only through Christ that is. The strenth that he gives is amazing.

STEPHANIE IS MARRIED!!!!!!!!!! Her And her husband Mike are moving to new Jersey in a month. can you believe that. sooo wierd. Here they are. Its not a wedding photo but I will put some up when I see them. The photo below is how sad sam and I because she is leaving..bababababbababababa....

Ok..well im gonna go. lve you all. do you people read this?

If you want me to

The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You
do I'm gonna walk through the valley If You want me to

Chorus: Cause I'm not who I was When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will go through the fire If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone
So When the whole world turns against me And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valleyIf You want me to
When I cross over Jordan,I'm gonna sing, gonna shout
I'm gonna look into Your eyes and seeYou never let me down
So take me on the pathway that will lead me home to You
And I will walk through the valley If You want me to
Yes, I will walk through the valleyIf You want me to

Ava Nicole Is with Jesus

Well, I cant write about it right now...And Jason is a better writer anyway. So here is the blog he put on myspace about what happened. Please pray for us. thankyou. :0)

My little Ava was born on Sunday October 30, 2006 at 4:12am after my amazing wife was in labor for over 20 hours. She endured back labor, which is much stronger (I've been told) than normal labor which is normally in the abdomen(?). But the doc delivered Ava, and after just a couple minutes, I went into the shut-off area of the room and I got to hold my litle Ava.Just to let you know... this was the scariest thing I've had to do. I was so scared that this experience was going to be absolutly horrifying. I had some wierd images in my mind of how she might look. And the truth is...she was beautiful.Ava had very long legs, and was very tall. 9 inches. She would have passed up her mommy easily. She only weighed about 7.2 ounces. And she was just uinder 5 monthes in the womb. She had her moms lips for sure! But she had many more of my features. (insert ugly joke here).Ash has a condition called having an "incompetant cervix." The cervix is what holds the baby inside the mothers body, and when the baby is ready to come out, it opens up during labor, and the baby is born. Ashleys cervix is not strong enough to hold a baby- so once the baby got so big and so heavy, gravity started pulling the baby out of Ash's body.
The doctors had Ashley in a reclined position, where he head was lower than her body, like laying down on a hill, with your head facing the base. This (in theory) lets gravity pull the baby back into where she was suposed to go. Unfortunately, Ash's body went into labor, and eventually, she gave birth 4 monthes early to our daughter. And at this point, her lungs were not developed to work outside of the womb, and she only lived for an hour ans a half.But what a sweet hour and a half. I was scared. I was sad. I was excited. I was really tired. But I had this little life in my hand. She fit just perfectly into one of my hands. Her skin had no color to it, it was translucent. I could see all her veins and organs and bones. I watched her heart beat so quicly at about 140 beats per minute as she was handed to me, and slowly watched her heart slow down as I held her and welcomed her to a world that couldn't keep her. Her heart went down to about 6 (yes, 6) beats per minute. I shared her with vast amounts of family that came to love and support us. And I got to spend about 30 minutes with her as the doctor and nurses were still working with Ashley.Her ears were not quite developed. They were just little buds on the side of her head, and they had not come out like yours and mine are. But I knew that she could hear me. And I knew she could feel my heart beating, and melting in absolute love for her. I told her about Jesus. About the Cross. How He made her her. He knitted her together inside of Ashely, and I told her that she was a masterpiece. And that God doesn't make mistakes. She was not made for this world, and God wanted her upstairs right away. I told her that her mom and I loved her, and even though I didn;'t mean to, I practically bathed her in my tears. Ashley and I got to hold her and be with her for just a bit longer, and she got taken away to be weighed and printed, and photographed.Ash was taken away to surgery, and I was in the other waiting room with our family. All I could to was sit there. Paralized, I hugged the carebear I gave to Ashley so long ago. The very one I plot to throw away occasionally. And I'm glad I never got away with it. I was amazed that I had been up since about 9am, and the sun was coming up again. We had TV. We had DVD's. We had CD's. We had books, magazines, we had eachother. But the room was silent. Just an occasional sniffle or the sound of a toilet flushing somewhere down the hallway.Finally, people started going home, and Ashley was brought in after recovery. I slept for about an hour and a half, and saw that Ashley had woken up too. I got up, and we finally got to talk. And we got to spend our last few precious hours with Ava Nicole. And early in that evening, we said goodbye. Packed our bags, and came home.Ava is going to be cremated, and brought home with us. And Ashleys aunt has bought us a stone at the cemetary thats going to be a stone around a statue, and we get to engrave Ava's name into it, and other parents like us will buy stones like it, and it will make up the floor around this statue. Ashleys two aunts have both also lost babies this year, so we're trying to get our stones next to eachother. So our 3 baby girls can be together here on earth. Just as they're together in Heaven with my Lord and her Lord Jesus Christ.

Even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Psalm 139:12-14

Energy....

Ug. Today is wierd. I have no energy at all. I think I got enough sleep last night. But I feel like I havnt slept in days and its killing me. Im trying to do my hair, but I cant stand long enough to even brush it..ahhhhh. By the way, my hair isnt blonde anymore. Scary huh? I cant bleach it. so I put brown in it..or some lady did. I told her I wanted the lightest brown she could do. So she decided to do the darkest brown she could find..its almost black. then she decided it would be fun to give me bangs..omgosh. I think the last time I had bangs was when I was 5..so yeah. blah on that...

ok no more complaining. Everything is going great. Just hanging out at home a lot getting some work done on the house. I am planning on having a get together at my house on halloween..so please come..just let me know..loveyou all..byebye

1 year

Hello! So Jason And I have been married for a year now!!! Crazy! I cant believe how fast the first year went by. I have no complaints either. Everything was great and we learned a lot about eachother. Of course there were hard times, but I think you need those times to learn..and we did. So yesterday we went to The olive Garden for lunch. As soon as our food got there, I started feeling sick. so we got some boxes and went home. I slept for a couple of hours but it didnt help. So around 7 we went to The madonna Inn for dinner. We saw FArah and Jenn there. so that was exciting. I hope you girls had fun at your party! I felt a little better so I was able to eat my food. So that was a lot of fun. then we went to the movies. So despite the fact that I was sick all day, I had a lot fo fun. Saw a lot of friends everywhere we went.

so yeah, just wanted to fill you all in on my day yesterday. it was so much fun!

Oh the Scare

Well. Jason and I experienced our first panics as parents..I wasn't sure how to word that sentence so forgive me if it doesn't work. Anyway, I had to go to the doctors office on Friday. I won't go into detail about what happened, but I was convinced that I was having a miscarriage. I freaked out so bad that I couldn't breath from crying and ended up having a crazy headache for 2 days. Good news though. The baby is fine, and I will be fine as long as I take it easy for awhile. Everything seems to be going ok now and I am so happy. I don't think I have ever prayed so hard in my life. My baby isn't even born yet and I worry so much. I cant imagine how its going to be when he/she finally gets here. So yeah, Pray for Jason and I. Im sure everything is going to be fine though :0)

PARTY!!!! So every year I have a "party" at my house for Halloween. Not so much for Halloween, its just an alternative for people who don't like to go out and drink to have fun (or get in to trouble) So yeah. Let me know if you wanna go. Your all invited. Or let Alyssa Giorgi know. She is gonna help. Ok. That's all for now. Love you all.

my little update

So my brother is going to get married in Vegas! I think October 8th, the same day Jason And I got married. Which is awesome because we can celebrate our 1 year anniversary in Vegas. So im pretty excited. Can you believe its been a year?! times goes by so fast. I cant believe it!...Oh yeah, My sis steph is also getting married in about 5 months..right when Im due to have my baby...nice..oh well. what do you do.. So there is some exciting news!


So, not to much has been going on. I hung out with some friends this weekend. I made a new friend. Tanyas roomie Erin. she is AWESOME! I have never met a girl that will completely knock herself to the ground and let people body slam her to the ground for the sake of comedy. sooo funny. Not only is she funny but she has an amazing heart for the Lord. I love her!

I really dont know how to put up pictures on this thing! oh well. So, im now about 4 months prego..I can feel the little baby..kind of.. its feels more like a little fishy swimming in my tummy. I cant wait until I can feel a kick or something. Things are going great though. I can actually eat now..But im not sure thats a good thing. well friends...I wish life was more exciting for me, so I could tell you about it. but to be honest, im pretty lazy. I dont do much. well..love you all!

Mrs. Elder

this is the same post I have on my myspace..

Mrs. Elder died yesterday around 4 pm. I am excited for her because I know she is heaven singing her heart out to the Lord. Doing exactly what she has been looking forward to doing. It brings comfort to me to know how much comfort she felt. Not physically but the comfort she had through Christ. I pray that the Lord give Mr. Elder and his family the same comfort that I have and that Mrs. Elder had. Mrs. Elder was the one who taught me guitar (most of it) she practiced with me every wed when I was young. She always kept me in line and didnt let me get away with being stupid. ;0) her and Mr. elder were always there for us kids when we needed them. even if it meant coming over and playing video games and eating nachos. they were always there. I will miss her a lot. Im sad that in the past couple of years we werent as close. But I know she loved me and she knows I love her. She is a wonderful example of what a woman in christ should be like.I was reading an artical the newspaper did on her on january 26th of this year..here are some things that stick out to me,that I know are true.Dawn Elder considers each day a blessing.Elder, a woman of deep faith and inner strengthShe chose to talk about this most personal experience because she wants to make other women - and men, she added - aware of the opportunity for BRCA testing, and of the choices they can make as a result.Meanwhile, since all of their children live out of town, Elder said that my wonderful husband, John, and my church got her through the prolonged treatments.She also blesses Stefanie Hassett, her friend at Grace Baptist Church.Chemo is very depressing. You have to have a really good support system. It made me fall in love with them all the time. Elder said.She has taught music to the kindergartners at May Grisham School - It's a gift, she said. I came home from the mammogram and drew the rose, which is given to women having the mammogram. She now takes digital photos, especially of flowers, and manipulates them on the computer to create beautiful floral cards, many with Biblical quotes.Going through this journey toward recovery has been a deep spiritual experience for Dawn and John.He's a rare husband, a sweet man, she said.It (the cancer and treatments) changed everything. For a while, I lived day by day, then felt I have to get contributing again. I give glory to God for just being here. He could have taken me and he didn't, she said.The Lord did take her. and I know she was ready. what an amazing woman. I hope some day I can be as strong as she was. We love you mrs. Elder!
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Music Video:
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So..I can never think of a title for these blogs...oh well.

I am so excited for kickback this weekend. Im a little panicky because I feel like a have a billion things to do..but really...nothing comes to mind. Do you ever get that feeling? I can't wait to see the kids grow in Christ and I can't wait to see what he does in me. I pray that he can use me to be a wonderful example in him. I know there are things I need to change to be that person, But I know he can use me somehow. I've decided today that I really need to get my life on a path moving to him.. It was going in that direction before, but it seems like I kept turning around and walking the other way half the time. if that makes sense... >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> <<<< >>>>>>>>>> <<<<<...haha..thats my example..I want my life to be like this >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> CHRIST. well, At least I know what im talking about...

I believe that we are all in a leadership position. Even if you are not on jr high, high school staff. Even if you are not involved in ministry, you are still a leader. Am I right? The moment you give your life to the Lord is the moment you step into a leadership position. Is it bad that I am just now understanding this? I don't want to be a different person outside of church.. I want my life to reflect him ALL THE TIME. So yeah, those are my thoughts today. Pray for me and for all the staff and kids this weekend. I think great things are going to happen!

a little about me

GRYFFINDOR:
[] You've never done drugs
[x] You have a lot of friends
[x] You get along with everyone
[] You haven't made fun of someone for at least two months
[] You love soccer
[x] You love baseball
[x] You're into writing and art
[] Favorite music genre is pop rock
[x] You believe in "innocent until proven guilty" theory
[x] Abortion is wrong
[ ] The war against Iraq is unneeded
[ ] One of your favorite colors is red or gold
[x] Good grades at school
[x] One of the worst things you can do is lie
[x]You plan on going to college

TOTAL: 12

HUFFLEPUFF:
[x] You're content with mostly everything in your life right now.
[x] You laugh a lot
[] You like to follow trends.
[x] Politics suck.
[x] You love to swim
[] Water polo is awesome
[x] Pink is one of your favorite colors
[] Black is morbid & depressing
[x] Michael Jackson is talented as a musical artist.
[x] You're an optimist.
[] You're completely straight-edge.
[x] You're very emotional
[] Rap, R&B, & hip-hop is your favorite music genre
[] You don't believe in going steady at a young age
[x] You've made fun of at least one person this week.

TOTAL: 7

RAVENCLAW:
[] You're depressed to a certain extent.
[x] You love to read.
[x] You appreciate theatre & arts.
[] Sports suck.
[] You're shy.
[x] Bush is trying his hardest
[x] You've been in love before.
[x] Hate is completely unneeded.
[] Loyalty is the MOST important thing in a relationship
[x] indie is your favorite genre of music.
[x] Every once in awhile you have little anger outbursts.
[] Lying is sometimes okay
[] Blue is one of your favorite colors.
[] Serious is better than funny.
[x] Good grades at school

TOTAL: 7

SLYTHERIN:
[] There's at least one person you hate.
[x] Basketball is a good sport.
[x] Football is amazing
[x] Black is a cool color.
[x] You've lied about something serious.
[x] You're a very deep person.
[x] You have considered suicide.
[x] Very loyal.
[] You like metal.
[] They make school seem more important than it is.
[] You're scared to grow up.
[] You've done drugs in the past month.
[] Anger is one of your primary feelings.
[x] You have trust issues.
[] Guilty until proven innocent.