oh the things we could do.

How amazing would it be to pay cheaper rent. this amazing. (in no particular order)

1. I could take some classes at hancock
2. buy some new clothes
3. take a vacation
4. pay medical bills
5. pay credit card bills
6. save to buy a home one day
7. put money away for Tyler (college fund!)
8. buy some new shoes.
9. sponsor a child (that would be amazing!)
10. get a wii. and a wii fit
11. Start an amazing book collection. ( need to read more!)
12. pay for a healthy meal plan! (no one my age can afford Jenny.. Lets just be honest)
13. buy my friends random gifts
14. Start a fun/new hobby

Oh how the list could go on. This can be a reality. Today we are looking at a place in old orcutt. hopefully it will be a good match for us. And hopefully this will be the last time we have to move for awhile!

What is God saying to us?

AMAZING! My favorite lyrics right now. Times by Tenth Avenue North.

(Us)
I know I need You I need to love You
I love to see You, but it's been so long
I long to feel You I feel this need for You
And I need to hear You, is that so wrong?

Now You pull me near You. When we're close, I fear You
Still I'm afraid to tell You, all that I've done
Are You done forgiving? Oh can You look past my pretending?
Lord, I'm so tired of defending, what I've become
What have I become?

(God)
I hear You say,"My love is over.
It's underneath.
It's inside. It's in between.
The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel.
The times that you question, 'Is this for real?
'The times you're broken. The times that you mend.
The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.
Well, My love is over, it's underneath.
It's inside, it's in between. These times you're healing,
and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.
The times you're hurting. The times that you heal.
The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.
The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.
I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.
I'm there through your heartache.
I'm there in the storm. My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone.
I don't care where you fall, where you have been.
I'll never forsake you, My love never ends. It never ends."

So long 2008. I will miss you...I wont miss you..I will miss you..I wont miss you?

As you can tell Im having a hard time deciding if im going to miss 2008 or not. I think back and I see a ton of excitement, love, memories, accomplishments. And then, like any year there is heartbreak, loss, and let down. But I have to say the good times beat the bad with no question. Its almost like they were competing at one point. Something amazing would happen and then something upsetting would jump in and take you by surprise. I suppose that's life. God knows what he is doing and has a reason for everything. So im sorry bad memories, you lost the fight. But you sure did leave and impact.

I can honestly say that 2008 was the best year for me for a lot of reason. Not only did I get to share it with my truly wonderful husband but we got to experience it with our baby Tyler.. Its true when people say having a baby is a huge step and will change your life. To be honest though, I heard a lot of negative from people.. "Be prepared for no sleep, stress, dirty diapers, tantrums, and a lot of crying." Sure. We have experienced those things. But when I think about Tyler and what we have been through this year, those are the last things that come to mind. I think about his first words, his smiles, laughter, hugs and kisses, first steps and discoveries. I remember the first time he wrapped his arms around me to give me a hug. Not just a cuddle, but a real hug. I could seriously go on forever about why I love him and how he has brought joy and unconditional love to Jason and I. I feel like I have become a better person just having him. He has changed my life for the better. well, I should stop now or this entire blog will be consumed with reasons why I love my son and unforgettable memories he has made. I look forward to 2009 because I know that the Joy doesn't end here and I couldn't be happier about that.

There have been a lot of changes that God has made in me this past year. There were times when I felt like I was really pushed the edge. I made mistakes and tried to fix them myself. when people made mistakes and hurt me I wouldn't go to him for help. I would try and fix it on my own. Not trusting in him and giving those problems to him really brought me down. I believe that God will allow you to reach your lowest point until you have no where else to go but to him. Agree with me or not. I believe that. I don't know if I reached the lowest. But it was almost more then I could handle. And we all know he will never give us more then we can handle. The day finally came when I no longer looked to others or myself for help but reached out to God and things got better. The "distractions" were gone. Relationships were ended. (even if I didn't like it) But God always knew what he was doing. I don't give anyone credit for those changes in my life except God. No one "taught" me a lesson except him. . Its all God.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)

One of the changes I want to make is being more of a light for Christ. I want to step as far away from my comfort zone as possible. I want to share his Glory with everyone I come across. Because I do not believe we should keep that to ourselves. We are called to be the salt of earth. To be a light for him. How can we do that if we hide his glory for our own purpose. I have never had a problem with talking about God and my faith. But I do know I can do a better job. I could be a better example and make better choices with my life. Pastors sermon summed it up for me last week. I really felt like it spoke to me. Here are some notes.

Such is the beauty of Christ, that once the Christian has that veil removed from their heart they long to continually look at his beauty as it is revealed in his most holy word.

How do you become more like Jesus Christ? Paul says it is by continually beholding his Glory (look less at yourself and more at Christ)

When you are saved the veil of sin is lifted from your face so that you Can see the beauty of the Lord in the mirror of his word. and as you look you are gradually, through its influence, transformed more and more completely into his likeness.

The most wonderful changes in your life are not only possible but natural when the Lord is at work in you.

GODS CHILDREN GROW BY SEEING THE GLORY OF CHRIST

all of us continually reflect, as in a mirror, the glory of the Lord

I want the veil to come down. and I believe it is. Its not just about going through the motions anymore. Its becoming a desire and im really excited about that. .

Now that I have written this blog I have decided I will miss a lot about 2008. But I am also happy to leave a lot of it behind and continue forward. Anyway, this is a really long blog. sorry! There is so much more that I could write but I don't want to bore you anymore then I already have ;0) Thoughts are always appreciated ;0)