THERES A MOUSE IN MY ROOM!

OMG...A MOUSE JUST RAN OVER MY FOOT!



So im sitting here in my moms house, just minding my own business. When a huge freaking mouse crawls over my foot.. Sick...at first I didnt think anything of it.(because I didnt know it was there) Then it made a noise!!!! ahhhhhhhhh. I freaked. I Jumped up on the little coffee table thing, lost my balance and fell on the floor. meanwhile the stupid little mouse is just staring at me...with its beady little eyes. I was so afraid to move. I just sat there. I will have you know that I won the staring contest because about 20 seconds of no movement what so ever , the sneaky little mouse ran right past me..teasing me in its little mouse way..ug. where is ran off to...no one knows. im sure its hiding under my blanket so it can torment me some more when I go to bed. or maybe its off talking to its friends telling them how i lost my balance and fell of the table. Have a good laugh little mouse. Because its going to be your last. you heard me. be afraid. be very very afraid.

Hello

Ive been thinking...maybe a little to much. You know how people always joke and say "dont think to much, you might hurt yourself" and everyone laughs ..Well this time I think it is true. I think that I have been thinking so much today, that I have actually hurt myself. no. Not physically. But the emotional part isnt doing so well. Dont worry. Its not Jason. He has been so awesome. Everything is great and I am so happy to be with him. I just keep hearing really sad things from people that I really care about. Stuff about Jason and I .. Sometimes I wish I could be like the random girl, sitting in the back of the church, the one that no one really knows anything about. That way no one will care if im getting married, or what my relationship is like with my fiance, or if im ready to get married or not.. BUT...Im not that girl. Everyone has an opinion, and I guess I cant get away from that. But I just want to know, What is so wrong with me that people think im going to be a failure as a wife?? what did I do that was so wrong? Are people still judging me from my past? Do they not realize im not the same person.? what do I need to do to change peoples opinions? ....Are these peoples opinions even worth worring about. ? God knows my heart, he knows my faults, he knows if im going to be a good wife. As long as I do everything to glorify him, and always love him over everything, I believe he will bless me. And my marriage. maybe I should just worry about that instead of everyone else.


I think I should just go to bed. Tomorrow is another day, maybe I will feel better. Someone please call me. give me uplifting words. anything..I dont care. I love you all. goodnight.


PS. PARKER!!!!! I decided to make my post totally awesome by adding you to it! how is everything? things arent as bad with me as they sound. just some thoughts I wanted to post. talk to you later dude!

thursday

Tonight was goodtimes. I though the lesson was pretty good. I thought the atmosphere was good. Did I spell that right? oh well. I had a good time. a part of me is happy that the group has moved back to Jims house. I feel closer to everyone..not that the house is small..but like...we could be more personal there.

Survivor was awesome..im excited .. I LOVE LUPE!
Im glad I finally saw the first episode..to tell you the truth, I dont think I have ever seen a first episode in all of survivor. ! crazy man. let me tell you. I think it is to early to decide on who I want to win, or what team I like better. But i will tell you this..I would love it if stephanie won. i think she is wonderful.

I had fun at the shaw house tonight. to be honest, I finally felt like part of the group, like everyone was my friend.....like I was in on it...I dont know what "it" was..but I felt included. so its all good. I hope that is stays that way to. I really love you all!
Speaking of LOVE....ahhahahahah . I will say no more!

well im to tired to finish this post..gotta go.

BAH

HOLA, Today was a pretty good day. except that my phone was dead all day long and i felt incomplete. But I did have 7 unheard messages which made me feel dandy. (expect they were all from my family! blah)

Good news, my aunt chris is having a boy...and now my aunt Debbie is having a baby!! yayayaya. So im very very happy.

Tonight I went to Jays aunts house. Alot of his family was there, so it was cool. Im glad that I am getting to know them all better. Anyway, they got jay and I a new microwave..woop woop. Its totally awesome and totally needed . we are totally blessed. Everything we need, like a lawn mower, a fridge, a washer and dryer, stuff like that has been provided for us! praise God! He always makes it happen, which is totally awesome. he is totally awesome.

I HAVE A NEW FRIEND!!!!!! Im sooooo happy. I met her at work. her name is mellisa.... We get a long great and she is going through a lot of stuff that I have been through, so I can relate to her a lot. And I can give her good advice to ( or what I think is good advice ;).....) The best thing about her is that she likes me even though I am nerdy and the girl calls me. which is good on my list. I am blessed again because I have been praying and praying that God would send me a good friend, one that will call me and hang out with me, even though I am getting married. And he did. The best part is that she has so much potential to be come to the Lord. I know that sounds dumb....because we should try and bring everyone to the Lord...but she is so almost there. I think that she grew up in a strick baptist home and it pushed her away from religion and God. So yeah, I think Im gonna try and get her to go to church with me and stuff. that will be cool.
The other night she hung out with me at mike shaws house. It was good times...kind of....until mikey told me to get out of his house...ouch! lol oh well, what can ya do......but thanks for letting us hang out for night..that was considerate of you. jk...but really thank you

BIG BROTHER WAS AWESOME!
I dont care if they "waste my time" on an episode that doesnt mean anything. it is still funny! GO JANIE!

I think this is the biggest blog I have written yet..woop woop.

TANYA AND ALYSSA!
Sorry I coulnt go shoe shoppin...I really wanted to go and I was all ready to go..then caitlins mom called and wanted me to come over and get the dress fitted...blah...but you should go with me to find my shoes..So what do they look like? are they cute? do you like pancakes?

wow I just got hyper..

So .....answer me this....when you go to read someones blog and it is really really long, do you feel overwhelmed and just give up on it completely? I would...lol...congrats if you have made it this far!

PARKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you have a blog? I do....ummm

So yeah..tomorrow Im gonna go to the gym with my new friend MEl...and Im gonna get HOT LIKE SHAKIRA!!!!! YIPPY YIPPY!!!
Is shakira hot? I think she sounds like a frog...RIBBIT...RIBBIT

Then on Tuesday Im gonna go to the track with Tracy Starns and get hot like .....ummmm OPRAH!!! Thats right. you heard me..oprah

speaking of oprah, I wrote her a letter telling her that Im a poor white girl, living in a black neighborhood...Do you think she will send me money for my wedding? dude...If I was Oprah, I would give me like, 100,000. $$$$ for my wedding. Just because....LONG LIVE DR. PHIL.

thats to bad

". Some friends are like going to a Quidditch Match. You know its never really going to happen. They are a nice theory, but in reality they’re not going to fly, they’re not going to catch the Snitch, and you’re not going to watch anything other than them suiting up to go onto the pitch. "

you know what. i think i changed my mind. I think its time i just give up on you guys. Whats the point.?

OH GOODNESS!

wow guys...30 days until i am married. thats flippin crazy.


i want you all to read this and take this in to consideration k..... CALLLLL MEEEEE. lets hang out..lets do fun stuff...lets go on a car ride, go to the beach, wash our cars together, skip in a field of flowers....i dunno. anything! I just want to do something to help me with the stress. It will be fun ..i promise. . . . . .

now i have to tell everyone what i think of them..ready!

Tanya- I think that we need to start our relationship over. I think we need to just hang out. love eachother, and have fun like we used to. we are family, and how awesome that I have the chance to have a cousin that is my best friend. im sorry for being a punk. I think that we are both trying to find who we are...and in the process of doing so...we just lost it.I love you though. more then you think, and more then you know...I just put on a front...im sorry


2. the shaw- What can I say. I enjoy your company. sometimes im just sitting around all bored and im like..."what m. shaw up to?" and sometimes im crazy busy...and im like " hmm...wonder what mike is up to" I love ya man. your just about the funniest person I know.. I hope that we stay friends for a long long time. dont be afraid to call me or hang out with me when i get married ok!

3. Alyssa- DUDE...I just got off the phone with you. I love alyssa! your a blast to hang out with. which is why I wanna hang out more. I think that God is working in your life like crazy right now...and I see the changes he has made in you. I think that he is going to use you in ways you wouldnt have even thought. I pray for you a lot because I know the pain that you have right now with things you are going through. I love you though. I want to be here for you and be a better friends. I am really trying right now .I hope that is shows a little. but i will try harder so it shows alot.

4. Parker- DONT BE AFRAID OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dude...this is what I know about you, your name is parker, your quiet, sometimes you spike your hair, you mow lawns, you hate mine, and your not going to my wedding!!!!!!!! I realize i know nothing about you! and that needs to change..i think you and I need to just sit down and have a good conversation..sound good! dont be scared !!!

5. Jenn- I miss you......I didnt think you and I would be friends..not with the whole jason thing...lol good times. but i love you! how could i not. I wish you were here right now. I think you and I could be awesome friends. we have a lot in common and you bring out the goofy side in me. and you always make me laugh! call me k...

6. myself- you could be a good person if you would bring down the walls.... take away the barriers and quit being so afraid. open up to people and dont be ashamed of who you are. . just be yourself..be nice...dont be fake...dont judge...dont complain..dont hide...dont worry about what others think. Love the Lord with all you have and make it so the world can see that. ......with that said....I know, I have potential to love you.