Holy crap do I need to lose weight. I feel like I have completely wasted most of my life by being overweight. It has held me back from doing so much..I'm gonna make a list..
1. swimming- I refuse
2. rides at amusement parks- to afraid my butt wont fit in the seat
3. hiking at the beach with my friends- there is no way my friends are going to lift me on to a huge rock.
4. wearing cute clothes- designers think that every fat person wears silk shirts with big printed flowers on them. nice.
5. being healthy- at this rate I will end up with diabetes in no time.
6. having confidence- the only bit I have left in me is because my husband thinks I'm beautiful.
7. getting a good job- Ive actually been turned down from jobs because I'm overweight
8. being comfortable - when I walk in a room, I feel like everyone is looking at me. and not because they think im pretty.
Lets face it. This list could go on forever. I'm not ready to put my actual weight on here yet. trust me, I will one day. I will just update you on my progress. That's right, im actually doing something about. I will be honest with you. I could care less about being skinny. I just want to be comfortable and I am no where near comfortable.. I want to be many things, and I wont achieve those goals unless I drop the weight. Jason and I were talking the other day and we came to the conclusion that if we don't make life changes, then Tyler could possibly grow up making the same mistakes we did. I really don't want my baby to grow up being the fat kid in class. I was my whole life and I would NEVER wish that on anyone. its miserable. I want him to be healthy that way he wont miss out on his childhood.
anyway, I was on a 1200 calorie diet . that's all I was eating in one day. I lost 11 lbs last week. yeah crazy huh! I didn't even work out. Then someone told me that at my weight I shouldn't be eating less then 1700 calories a day because my body will go into starvation mode. So I moved the calories up and now im working out. It was so so hard the first week. I was so angry about everything because I was hungry. I'm getting used to it now and im not angry anymore. ;0) I seriously just need to take it one day at a time and focus on getting through the day. Its worked so far. My goal is to lose 50 lbs. once I get there I will set another goal of 50 lbs. It just seems easier that way. I don't want to overwhelm myself. so yeah. 39 lbs to go until I reach my first goal. pray for me! and keep me accountable please. ask me often how I'm doing and make sure I keep it up. It would really help me if I had some pressure from you guys.
so there you go. that's whats been going on with me. I should post a picture of what I look like now..I don't really have a good one....but this will do.
.............like the fake smile? lets just be honest..its because im fat and I didn't want my picture taken. nice huh. I would like to be confident in a picture and not worry that my double chin is showing. this picture was taken last night. so its after my 11 lbs weight loss.
So. I will keep you updated on my weight loss and when I reach my 50 lb goal I will tell everyone how much my starting weight was..I just can do that yet.
here are some pics of the baby. I know, totally off subject .
Smiling for his mama
..............................................Tummy time!! he is getting so strong!
...............bundled up to go on a walk with mom and dad.
......................yup. he would rather be naked.
PS. I dont want to here " oh ashley, your not fat. your just big boned" im not stupid. but thanks for trying. ;0)
