Holy crap do I need to lose weight. I feel like I have completely wasted most of my life by being overweight. It has held me back from doing so much..I'm gonna make a list..
1. swimming- I refuse
2. rides at amusement parks- to afraid my butt wont fit in the seat
3. hiking at the beach with my friends- there is no way my friends are going to lift me on to a huge rock.
4. wearing cute clothes- designers think that every fat person wears silk shirts with big printed flowers on them. nice.
5. being healthy- at this rate I will end up with diabetes in no time.
6. having confidence- the only bit I have left in me is because my husband thinks I'm beautiful.
7. getting a good job- Ive actually been turned down from jobs because I'm overweight
8. being comfortable - when I walk in a room, I feel like everyone is looking at me. and not because they think im pretty.
Lets face it. This list could go on forever. I'm not ready to put my actual weight on here yet. trust me, I will one day. I will just update you on my progress. That's right, im actually doing something about. I will be honest with you. I could care less about being skinny. I just want to be comfortable and I am no where near comfortable.. I want to be many things, and I wont achieve those goals unless I drop the weight. Jason and I were talking the other day and we came to the conclusion that if we don't make life changes, then Tyler could possibly grow up making the same mistakes we did. I really don't want my baby to grow up being the fat kid in class. I was my whole life and I would NEVER wish that on anyone. its miserable. I want him to be healthy that way he wont miss out on his childhood.
anyway, I was on a 1200 calorie diet . that's all I was eating in one day. I lost 11 lbs last week. yeah crazy huh! I didn't even work out. Then someone told me that at my weight I shouldn't be eating less then 1700 calories a day because my body will go into starvation mode. So I moved the calories up and now im working out. It was so so hard the first week. I was so angry about everything because I was hungry. I'm getting used to it now and im not angry anymore. ;0) I seriously just need to take it one day at a time and focus on getting through the day. Its worked so far. My goal is to lose 50 lbs. once I get there I will set another goal of 50 lbs. It just seems easier that way. I don't want to overwhelm myself. so yeah. 39 lbs to go until I reach my first goal. pray for me! and keep me accountable please. ask me often how I'm doing and make sure I keep it up. It would really help me if I had some pressure from you guys.
so there you go. that's whats been going on with me. I should post a picture of what I look like now..I don't really have a good one....but this will do.
.............like the fake smile? lets just be honest..its because im fat and I didn't want my picture taken. nice huh. I would like to be confident in a picture and not worry that my double chin is showing. this picture was taken last night. so its after my 11 lbs weight loss.
So. I will keep you updated on my weight loss and when I reach my 50 lb goal I will tell everyone how much my starting weight was..I just can do that yet.
here are some pics of the baby. I know, totally off subject .
Smiling for his mama
..............................................Tummy time!! he is getting so strong!
...............bundled up to go on a walk with mom and dad.
......................yup. he would rather be naked.
PS. I dont want to here " oh ashley, your not fat. your just big boned" im not stupid. but thanks for trying. ;0)
9 comments:
Ashley, you're beautiful! (Just wanted to say that first thing!)
Your desire to be healthy and comfortable, not necessarily just skinny, is so refreshing. And actually working towards those goals that you've set for yourself will only have positive effects on you as a wife and mommy. :)
Keep up the good work!
you've been doing good so far, and you've been making me eat healthy! Just keep up the good self control (even though thats the hardest part!!) But you are already a hottie, so don't worry about that. I'd even love you in a wal-mart silk flowery shirt! (I just might not hang around too close you you...)
Ahsley, I'm super proud of you. This is not an easy thing to do, and I really commend you and the fact that you want us to keep you accountable. Jon and I really have a hard time eating healthy. Starting in Jan. we decided to work on that and it's amazing how good your body feels when you're taking care of it. Wierd, huh? :) 11 pounds is amazing...you're going to do great!
ahhhhhhhh...Ashley, I can feel your words and am sad that you feel the way you do. I will say that I understand how you feel...because whether you have a 160 pounds to loose or 60 it's a struggle mentally. Life as you know is about the jouney and not the end result. Take the emotion out of this and just do it...There is nothing that tastes better then being thin feels...It's all about you being healthy and having energy. Looking great is just a by-product of taking care of yourself. And I will be checking in with you and being your accountablility :)
You can do this Ashley! I am really proud of you for taking the steps toward making yourself healthy! It is so important! Being skinny is overrated...it's taking care of the body that God gave you that's really important. I believe that you are off to a great start, so keep up the great work and don't get discouraged! I know exactly how you feel, and breaking away from that and actually feeling confident walking into a room, and not being disgusted every time you look into a mirror is an incredible feeling! Call me if you need any encouragement, because you know I have been there! I love you!
Ashley if you put your mind to it you will lose the weight you want!I will pray for you to keep up your will power. You are very beautiful and always will be!! See you tonight.
aunt deb
ps my great nephew is so sweet!!
I'm totally rooting for you Ashli. Just don't get as skinny as your non relative Paris Hilton. I would punch you if that happened. Love you!
1-Your baby is cute.
2- You should sign up on the Oprah page.
3- Oprah gives people stuff, so again you should sign up on the Oprah page.
4- I keep forgetting to bring Jason his "gift" from my house.
5- I think you can rock this.
6- Your baby is cute.
Definitely join me on the reading the Bible from cover to cover. I always stop about halfway through, so posting it is supposed to keep me going strong, with accountability. I'm not doing a set # a day or anything, just reading. So come on in! Yeah!
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