My focus has been way off lately. I'm bummed that I can read two novels in 6 days but cant read the whole bible in 17 years of being a christian. And so it starts. Today I read Psalm 51. I'm going to be honest. Its the first time in a long time I have cried and felt anything while reading my bible. (Sad right?) I felt strong
conviction....forgiveness...compassion....brokenness.....healing. "Read with the emotion in which it was written" Can you imagine David pouring himself out to God in that moment. I can see him on his knees, hands in the air, crying out to God for forgiveness....completely broken. I look at Davids cry to God compared to mine when I pray ....his desperate and honest. Mine watered down as if I'm just repeating the same prayer I learned in Sunday school years ago. There was a point where I wished I was a new christian so I could have that same fire and hunger that a new believer has. Ive realized im blessed to have grown up in the church and it is my fault for not being where im supposed to be. Even if you have been a christian for 50 years, that fire and hunger should always be there. Right?
If only you knew the gift God has for you and who I am, you would ask me, and I would give you living water. John 10-14
Pastor Greg and James often talk about how if you think the bible is boring you are not reading it right. As you can tell from the paragraph above, I am just figuring this out. Two weeks ago at late service, Pastor Greg said "read the bible with the emotions in which it was written" He went on to read some verses that I have read several times in my 17 years of being a christian. There was a difference this time though..Finally.....Job 19:25-27. "but as for me MY REDEEMER LIVES, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. And as my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God. I myself will see him with my own eyes. I , and not another. how my heart yearns within me" My redeemer lives....He will stand upon THIS earth.....In my flesh I will see God.....I will see him with my own eyes! Simply amazing.
So I have recently made a new friend. One that I love dearly and thank God for. I dont know if she realizes it but God has used her tremendously in my life, even in the short time we have known each other. Its amazing to me that she has only been a christian for two years. she can bust out a bible verse from the top of her head that is always relevant to my situation. I dont remember the last time I had a friend who wasn't afraid to put me in my place when I have screwed up and manage to do it in love. If you don't know who I am talking, Tyler likes to call her Babby. ;0)
Thats all for now. sorry If I rambled on. Just some things that God is revealing to me. thought I would share. pray that I can keep my focus on this and continue to seek him. like others im sure, I find myself drifting and forgetting why im really here. Please feel free to add to this If you want or correct me if im wrong. thx!
