Hello

Ive been thinking...maybe a little to much. You know how people always joke and say "dont think to much, you might hurt yourself" and everyone laughs ..Well this time I think it is true. I think that I have been thinking so much today, that I have actually hurt myself. no. Not physically. But the emotional part isnt doing so well. Dont worry. Its not Jason. He has been so awesome. Everything is great and I am so happy to be with him. I just keep hearing really sad things from people that I really care about. Stuff about Jason and I .. Sometimes I wish I could be like the random girl, sitting in the back of the church, the one that no one really knows anything about. That way no one will care if im getting married, or what my relationship is like with my fiance, or if im ready to get married or not.. BUT...Im not that girl. Everyone has an opinion, and I guess I cant get away from that. But I just want to know, What is so wrong with me that people think im going to be a failure as a wife?? what did I do that was so wrong? Are people still judging me from my past? Do they not realize im not the same person.? what do I need to do to change peoples opinions? ....Are these peoples opinions even worth worring about. ? God knows my heart, he knows my faults, he knows if im going to be a good wife. As long as I do everything to glorify him, and always love him over everything, I believe he will bless me. And my marriage. maybe I should just worry about that instead of everyone else.


I think I should just go to bed. Tomorrow is another day, maybe I will feel better. Someone please call me. give me uplifting words. anything..I dont care. I love you all. goodnight.


PS. PARKER!!!!! I decided to make my post totally awesome by adding you to it! how is everything? things arent as bad with me as they sound. just some thoughts I wanted to post. talk to you later dude!