thinking back.

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28


I don't normally blog about what I'm feeling. It feels silly to do that sometimes. Its easier to just put up some pictures and write about whats going on in them. But right now I have so many thoughts going on that I feel like I'm going to go crazy. yes.. I know, very dramatic. But its the truth. I don't even know if I want to write about it on here. Or if I even should. So I'm thinking that this blog might not make a lot of sense to a lot of you since I'm pretty sure it will be lacking in detail.



Don't get me wrong. Life is great! I have an amazing husband and son. Jason loves me and takes care of me. He is my best friend. I wouldn't as for more. . . I have a beautiful little boy that cracks me up. He is simply amazing! . I have a wonderful church full of people that I adore. Great friends that treat me the way I should be treated and don't give up. seriously, I'm thankful for so many things..so many people. I'm thankful that I have a Lord that loves me so much, that he forgives me and loves me....even when I cant forgive. . .

Psalm 73:26
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.



people talk about having a wall if front of them. that keeps them from moving forward and keeps them from seeing what is really in front of them. Is it possible for that wall to come and go as it pleases? Or is it always there? What gives me the right to pick and chose the right people to forgive and at what time? Who am I to sit and feel sorry for myself over STUPID things that life throws at me.


Philippians 2.3,4
"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit,but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself;Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others."



I feel so selfish. Here I get upset over past friendships, money, my bad haircut, my weight....always afraid of what people think about me..When someone I love has to deal with so much more. Things far worst then I have ever gone through. If I could take everything that has happened to her and put it on me I would. Because I would never wish it on anyone. Ive typed out so many different ways of saying this..but nothing really seems to sound right. I'm just upset with myself for not being able to forgive old friends for stupid reasons when this person I love has to one day forgive a monster. Because if she doesn't it will always be there. I cant fathom how hard that will be. All the petty things don't seem to matter anymore when I think of all she has been through. And everything that she will have to deal with in April and probably for the rest of her life. I just pray that she knows how much we all love her and that we are all here for her. That God will take care of her and help her if she will let him.

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

Even if the judgement in April doesn't go exactly the way we want it to. just remember that God will take care of you. and God will "take care" of this man. He is the ultimate judge and will give this man what he deserves. .

Psalm 75:6-7
No one from the East or the West or from the desert can exalt a man. But it is God who judges: He brings one down, he exalts another.

Psalm 46"

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging."